The Strengths of a Mom of Each Enneagram Type — And How the Enneagram Helps Them Grow as a Mother

Motherhood is a journey of both joy and challenge. It’s a beautiful, often messy experience that requires patience, understanding and constant adaptation.

As a new mom myself, with my daughter Nora now 4 months old and having just returned to work from maternity leave, this topic is especially close to my heart as I’m frequently reflecting on how I can use the Enneagram to create a safe, loving, attuned and fun environment at home. Like many moms, I'm learning to balance the demands of work, self-care and the evolving role of motherhood.

The Enneagram, a powerful tool for understanding personality, offers valuable insights into how each mom approaches motherhood, their unique strengths and how they can grow. And mamas, this topic is SO important. The growth practices below will feel like stretches and possibly something you don’t want to do— but I promise, it will greatly benefit you, your partners and your relationship with your children.

Here’s a look at the strengths of a mom of each Enneagram type and how embracing the Enneagram can help her evolve into an even better mother.

Type One: The Perfectionist

Strengths
Type One moms are dependable, responsible and committed to doing things right. They set high standards for themselves and their children, ensuring a disciplined and well-structured home environment. Their sense of justice and fairness means they strive to treat their children with integrity and care, making sure that rules and values are clear.

Growth Practice
Accept Things As They Are: Type Ones often struggle with frustration when things don’t meet their high expectations. And they might spend time over-apologizing or expressing disappointment that something didn’t go as they wished. A helpful practice is to learn to accept moments as they are, without letting frustration take over. Focus on embracing imperfections in yourself and others, allowing your home to feel more relaxed. This can also help prevent projecting your own dissatisfaction onto your children or loved ones.

Type Two: The Helper

Strengths
Type Two moms are nurturing, empathetic and always there for their kids. They are incredibly attuned to the emotional needs of others and instinctively show up with love and support. They create an environment full of care and warmth, and their children often feel deeply understood and valued.

Growth Practice
Take Time for Yourself Every Day: Type Twos often put others' needs before their own, sometimes neglecting their own wellbeing. A simple practice for Twos is to carve out 10 minutes every day for yourself. Whether it’s reading, meditating or relaxing, focusing on your own self-care allows you to replenish and show up for your children without feeling depleted. Also, when your child comes to you for advice— GIVE IT! Don’t always only offer questions, sometimes they truly want to know what you think.

Type Three: The Achiever

Strengths
Type Three moms are goal-oriented, driven and efficient. They manage their time well and are often able to juggle multiple responsibilities with ease. Their children benefit from seeing firsthand how to set and achieve goals, and Type Three moms are often great motivators, teaching their kids the importance of hard work and perseverance.

Growth Practice
Be Truly Present: Type Threes are often focused on achievement and productivity, but motherhood requires moments of simply being with your children. A helpful practice is to let go of work and goals when you’re with your kids—focus on playing and being fully present. This allows you to build deeper emotional connections and teach your children the value of presence over achievement.

Type Four: The Individualist

Strengths
Type Four moms are sensitive, creative and deeply attuned to the emotions of their children. They have a unique ability to create a home environment that feels emotionally rich and expressive. Fours are often able to help their children understand and express their own feelings, encouraging self-awareness and emotional depth.

Growth Practice
Stop Making It About You: Type Fours can sometimes become caught in their own emotional world, making their feelings a central part of interactions. A helpful practice is to focus on your children’s needs and experiences, rather than seeking external validation. By shifting the focus to others, you create a more emotionally balanced environment that nurtures both your children and yourself.

Type Five: The Investigator

Strengths
Type Five moms are analytical, observant and independent. They often bring a thoughtful, intellectual approach to motherhood, encouraging their children to be curious, explore, and ask questions. Fives excel at creating a home environment that encourages learning and intellectual growth.

Growth Practice
Lean Into Messy Emotions: Type Fives tend to avoid emotions that feel overwhelming, preferring to detach and think through things. A helpful practice is to lean into those messy emotions, rather than shutting them down. Not only is it important for you to get in touch with your own emotions, but it is as equally important for you to allow for and engage with the emotions of your children. Remember, emotions are irrational in nature. They aren’t supposed to be rationalized— grow your capacity to sit in your emotions and with the emotions of those in your life. This practice helps you connect more deeply with your children and teaches them to embrace emotions in all their complexity.

Type Six: The Loyalist

Strengths
Type Six moms are reliable, loyal and protective. They are always looking out for their children's safety and well-being, making them excellent at anticipating challenges and taking steps to avoid them. Their loyalty to family and commitment to ensuring security creates a stable, loving home environment.

Growth Practice
Build Your Own Confidence: Type Six moms can sometimes struggle with self-doubt or worry, which can make it difficult to trust that things are okay. A helpful practice is to work on building your confidence and trusting yourself. Your children can sense your worry and doubt— it teaches your children the world is scary and can’t be trusted. Practice affirmations like, “I trust myself to handle whatever comes my way,” or reflect on past successes to remind yourself that you can handle challenges with strength.

Type Seven: The Enthusiast

Strengths
Type Seven moms are joyful, optimistic and full of energy. They bring excitement and adventure to their children's lives, often creating fun, spontaneous experiences. Sevens help their kids see the world as a place of endless possibilities and encourage them to explore their curiosity and imagination.

Growth Practice
Be More Present and Open to Hard Conversations: Type Sevens often look ahead to future fun events, but life is also about the present moment—the messy, hard and often beautiful challenges. A helpful practice is to stay present, lean into difficult conversations and embrace conflict when it arises. Sevens often reframe negatives into positives in a way that makes children not feel seen and misunderstood. Joy is often found through honest discussions and resting in the here and now. This practice helps you deepen your connection with your children and model emotional resilience. They also really struggle to truly take critical feedback and make a real change. As a result, the child ends up parenting the adult Type Seven.

Type Eight: The Challenger

Strengths
Type Eight moms are strong, protective and decisive. They stand up for their children and fight for their wellbeing. Eights are natural leaders who model strength, resilience, and determination. Their children benefit from seeing what it looks like to face challenges head-on and stand up for what is right.

Growth Practice
Soften and Truly Listen: Type Eights are strong leaders who can sometimes struggle with vulnerability. A helpful practice is to soften your energy and heart, get in touch with your sweetness, listen deeply to your children and avoid rushing in to "rescue" them from tough situations. Embrace their vulnerability, knowing that it won’t last forever. By truly listening and offering emotional support, you help your children feel heard and valued, fostering deeper connections.

Type Nine: The Peacemaker

Strengths
Type Nine moms are calm, accepting and patient. They create a peaceful, harmonious home environment where their children feel safe and loved. Nines have an innate ability to mediate conflicts and help their children navigate disagreements with a sense of calm and empathy.

Growth Practice
Prioritize Your Own Needs: Type Nine moms often put others’ needs ahead of their own, which can lead to neglecting self-care. A helpful practice is to start each day by writing down what you need to do for yourself—before any other tasks or obligations. Speak up and share your ideas and opinions more often, as your wisdom is valuable. By making yourself a priority, you can better serve your family without losing sight of your own needs.

For You, For Your Children, For Your Future Relationships

These practices are designed to help moms of each Enneagram type grow in a way that honors their natural strengths while addressing areas for development. By taking small, intentional steps each day, you can cultivate a deeper connection with your children and with yourself.

The reality is when operating from ego or our personality we are blind to the ways in which we may cause problems in our relationships. The most powerful part of the Enneagram is that it illuminates these weaknesses of our personalities in a way that feels less personal. How? Because these are universal struggles for all people of your personality type! So, you are not alone but you also, have the wisdom now to make a change.

Whether you’re a new mom navigating the challenges of returning to work like me, or a seasoned mother looking for ways to grow, the Enneagram offers a framework for continuous growth in the beautiful journey of motherhood!

I would love to know if you find these tips helpful— please comment below! And if you are looking for greater guidance on how to grow and be the healthiest you— check out my 10-week From Ego to Essence Coaching Program. I would love to meet you on this path!